? Confusion

never warm
always freezing inside
sadness permeating the skin
palpable hate destroying my mind
tears not coming out
cold dark death
excruciating pain inside my head
just want to be happy
take it out on me
you always do
abuse me like others have abused you
tie me down and fuck me
throw me into a dirty corner and just leave me to rot
im disgusting and diseased
stupid
ignorant
ugly
fuck me or I will leave