~ DADDY'S ROOM ~
I have still not seen the inside of the room
Where you spent your winter afternoons
On the floor, or on your knees
Mama said, it was a part of your disease
But I, could not understand
When your door sprung open at times
You stumbled out wet, screaming for limes
Your eyes, full of rage, no one even dared to nod
Mama would whisper, "It's just something he forgot"
But I, could not understand
The music of Billie Holiday, blasting a private concert
I could hear you, mumbling and fumbling for every word
When I asked Uncle about the strange smell
Mama would cut in with, "Tequila, it's the juice from Hell!!"
But I was so young, I couldn't understand
Finally, one day, a loud popping sound, cut through the tunes
It was the first time I heard, the silence of my Daddy's Room
It was also the first time, I ever saw beyond your door
Mama said you were sleeping, but I saw the blood and the gun
and you, on the floor.
I was so young, but somehow I knew
It was time to grow up,
And time
To begin,
To understand,
The pain involved
In becoming,
A man...
Tony Taylor
* final edit of rewrite from 2015
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Comments
Awwww soo sad Tony & if true then awful for you đ˘â¤ď¸đšâ¤ď¸
No!!...It's a fiction.....but thank you for the lovely and most thoughtful comment my friend!!.....stay groovy!!.....smiles......T xo : )
Thank goodness for that â¤ď¸đšâ¤ď¸
YAY!! ~ HJ!!....I haven't seen or heard from you for quite a while....thanx so much for reading this old piece of mine.....smiles.....talk soon......T xo : )
I asked Cosmo to delete my account as had no time to write etc. This write nearly made me cry! Bless you youâre welcome đ
Tony, this is such a dark piece. Taking the reader into the darkness of addiction, through the eyes of a child, who I felt was forced to grow up quickly. Such sadness. You highlight how fragile those little eyes and ears are hereÂ
Once again, another good writer dear friend :) x
Wow Tony. It's a deep dark filled write through the eyes of a child....and I love the way you expressed this in your lines...showing the innocence and vulnerability of children and how sad it is towards the end. Brilliant write. Pinned! Pxxx
Thank you PRATIBHA!!.......always nice to hear from you.....I appreciate your taking the time to read and to comment......and you really did find the heart of this.......Children really do require a LOT of attention/protection in their early years!!.......stay groovy sister girl!!......Peace......T xo : )
hay Tony i remmber this poemÂ
about 3 year ago bec i liked the photo
the very next used the photo for my poemÂ
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Thanx GREG!!....and I haven't forgotten about the HAPPY POEM you asked me for....it's coming brother.....and thanx again for this and your memory of it!!.....Lots of Love.......T xo : )
Kudos on a very powerful piece of work you have bought to life with a great flow on so tragic a subject . I enjoyed the silent hints at your fathers demons , Well done on a stunning piece of work , ChrisÂ
Thank you kindly dear poet brother!!.......Sending Lots of Love to you and yours!!......peace n stuff!!.......T xo ; )
Tony, brilliantly written and a dark yet deftly presented journey of pain and foresight to move on and evolve.
To mature and come of age, at a cost.
And your haunting expressive poem made me think and reminded me of that haunting song,
Ode To Billy Joe by Bobbie Gentry sharing a witnesses viewpoint.
Great song and an equally great poem sir.
Thanks for sharing and glad you rewrote this and put it up, for I would have probably missed reading it, and by ending on this...
* final edit of rewrite from 2015
You now seem a satisfied and contented poetry bunny.
Which is good to see my poetry brother.
And well done sir!!
Â
Wow Thanx SHAUN!!....I haven't heard or thought of that song in many a year now....but what a 'way cool' comparison my friend......."The day that Billy Joe McAllister jumped off the Talahatchee Bridge!!".......Thanx tons for this dear poet brother!!.......Peace!!.......T xo  : )
A pleasure Tony and you nailed said song sir!
Tony I am so impressed by this compassionate and insightful work...it is so beautifully written and expressed...such a sad and moving write...I just truly love it and rank it as one of your best writes...hugs đ
REALLY???....one of my best?....hmmm?!......well it IS a Fictional write.....which, for the most part, makes it a little more difficult to write since I'm not using pure facts from first hand accounts or anything!!......But coming from you Miss MARION I will, have to concur and humbly bow down to your impressions on this !!.....Thanx again dear poet sister.....your insights are most welcome!!.......LOVE & ROCKETS!!......T xo : )Â
I do think it's one of your best Tony...i really really do...it is powerful, affecting and deep ...all the more brilliant for being fictional đ
well written so detailed and descriptive Linda
Thanx tons LINDA!!....for the kind words of encouragement!!.....smiles....T xo : )
wow! powerful write Tony!...........................................................Jim
Thank you so much LINDA!!.......hugs n smiles!!........T xo : )
This hurts, indeed. I understand this, having several suicides in the step family (a step brother, his son and a step sister). I am sorry for you, know what this must have cost to write... Strength bro', may the Lady be with youÂ
Thank you Sir LOOPSTRA!!....But this REALLY is a work of Fiction and wasn't aimed at raising pity or an empathetic response.....I was just working on technique and decided to use powerful subject matter to help drive the dagger deep......I am more than grateful for your most kind insights and impressions....Perhaps I will alert the reader from now on so as to not find myself in this situation again in the future.....you are such a kind soul John!!.....Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!!......your cyber-friend and admirer!!....T xo : )
Well, it is convincing đ¤ŁÂ