THE DAYS OF WINE AND MISSING YOU DEEP
I’m missing you…deep.
My days have become gnarled and flayed.
I ball them up, take a new dawning from the pile
Attempt a rewrite…but find no inspiration.
The nights are haggard and tangled in knots.
I'm continually plucking petals of desire
From my blossoming memory…damn baby!
You loved me measure for measure;
Flirting insinuation seeped into intrinsic passion
Until everything became a metaphor, but you!
Hard body and taut muscle rested in my center
Until the air and I was tight enough to choke
The silence except for your voice, sighing
In acappella, my name! But I did not
Hear your promises of tacit detachment
Echoing from bottles of Wild Irish Rose,
MD 20/20, Boones Farm and boxes of Franzia!
You fled the day I offered all of me.
Now, I hunger for the times of your sobriety;
Excavating conversations that might work
To intervene in your drinking love affair.
Yet, my wisdom is bare-boned and bleached!
You took my peace in empty sentences
Of twisted rants and babbling stupidities
Then poured my heart into putrid wine bottles!
I hear your slacked-jawed “I love yous”,
But you’re just staining my ears with excuses.
There was a time when our best distinction
Was the love we had for each other!
Our relationship has birthed the final fatality
Because you need space to drink and think!
The sun has set and from my garden window
The flowers have no scent…but your absence
Wafts upward in my heart like a fragrance.
These are the days of wine and missing you…deep.
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Comments
beautiful x
Hey Susan!  Girlfriend, I'm glad you enjoyed this write.  I'm sure many have endured the complications that loving a drunk brings.  Hoping that they will miraculously change.  Sometimea you just have to give up and face the lonely nights alone.
val
Hey Susan!  Yes, it is an ecstasy, an agony, death and anger.  Its close to impossible to insinuate yourself in between these tumultuous emotions for true peace of mind and contentment.  There no down time to nurture the senses that a couple should be sharing.  Everything is always in a state of escalation… too high…too drunk…too pissed.  This kind of situation slowly chips away the real you.  Been that done that…so I write about it instead.
val
A great write Val, you are clearly a well educated writer! Â I particularly liked the end section:
Really good! Â Congratulations on your worthy nomination :)
Hi Rachel…thanks so much for your compliment, comments and congrats!  I'd like to think that I am an emotional writer with the ability to express feelings that will give the reader insight on the what, when, how and why of the situation.Â
val
Valerie,
A wonderful poem of melancholy in the wind and sorrows, in the grass of your desires and a love lost, though once had. Well versed together and fluently overlaid, with a compensatory feeling of lost trust and self-worth, due to ignored emotions and simply plain old loneliness, which is felt (by me),from the character of this poem. Though the flowers from your garden window, no longer carry the scent of a love ever after,she waits, still hoping her memories of their past interlude, will once again rekindle, what he so emphatically and with malice, placed a side....You did yourself good with this poem...Really enjoyed the read...Nothing can ever take the place nor last longer, than (true love), no matter how pleasant it taste to the lips are how soothing it momentarily feels....
Warmest Regards,
Jim
Hi Jimmy! Â Thanks so much for your insight regarding the write. Â Your comments are right on point and very much appreciated!
val
No dear lady, it's you and your poems, that has away of demanding attention from your many readers and by far, you have sparked, are shall i say "stoked," the fire in all of your readers,leaving us with the wish, that we had a (hot)cup of coco are coffee, to nestle down into, as we enjoy the contents and the mind set of the characters, in your very moving and attention grabbing poems...I will surely make sure my next read, will be one of Preparatorial readiness, with many cups of java or coco, lined in my presence, ready for consumption, such as your poems shall be....Very inspiring.....Enjoy your X-mas Valerie to the fullest and may your New Years, bring in a multitude of flowers, that can be smelled not only from your garden window but in fact, from all areas of your dwelling...
Best wishes,
Jim
Jimmy!  Yes, every writer is hoping for a group of readers who will volunteer to take the journey with them into the tone and texture of the words that spill from depths unreachable otherwise.  I started writing at a young age and discovered that words properly placed in one's own personal sequence satisfies a desire to see what is inside of you…things embedded in lonely dark realms or those joys that must be revealed petal by petal.  Again, thank you much!
Have a wonderful holiday time with family and friends!
val
Hi Eddie…It was very hard for me to deal with at the time.  I was young, loved this man and thought that me love for him would cure his desire for drinking and getting high.  At some point we both were "numb"…me from having to pick him up so he wouldn't drive and kill himself and him because he wanted to offer more of himself but couldn't.  My disappointment became too much for him to bare…he left and I never saw him again.  xoxo my friend!
val