Dear Mom
Dear Mom, I forgive
Yes, I continue to live
My life day by day; Though I cannot forget
The pain you caused my heart, just yet
I swear that even today, you do not care
Of what happened, while you were not there
Working all the time
Allowing the crime
To be committed
To leave the truth submitted
You never stood to protect
Your child, yet you wish to receive my respect
Dear Mom, I was 12 years old did you forget?
13 years later, the truth is still not revealed
When I think back on the days
At home; I feel my emotions mix in all possible ways
Happiness; still exists
When I recall the golden times that persist
In my heart
Before everything fell apart
Playing with big brother, was the best
He was a bigger idol; than all of the rest
Of the big brothers; at all
He was my doctor after, each and every fall
Up until, the lies of destruction
Swept through my life causing a fierce disruption
The times; at the camp by the lake
Upon recalling, I can feel my heart continuously break
Every time; You know why?
My own mother made me cry
Alone every night for years
Forcing me to conquer my own fears
My Dear Dear Mom,
The man you married, abused your only daughter
You only allowed him to completely slaughter
My whole beautiful outlook on life
Hope you are a happily wedded wife
At least then one of us will be
Actually happy, no of course not me
That's okay, I just pray
The truth will reveal itself one day
I still remember, his games while you were working
He was having his fun, lurking
Around my personal space
Swearing, they were actions of grace
Dear Mom, I swear that I never lied
But, you never even tried
You, did not warn me that you would make me leave
Over, the truth that you chose not to believe
I had friends at school, you know
I wish I could of said good bye, you left me with nothing to show
For; You simply said good bye
Stood in the hospital doors, just to cry
Me, I was off with a stranger
My heart was forever in danger
Because My Dear Mom, you made it weak
Just by not believing the words; I had to speak
No I have not stop loving you
It is not something; I could allow my heart to do
Yes, I love you still
You are my only mother, therefore I always will
But, I must truthfully say
Your decision hurts me in every way
Each Holiday, I cry myself to sleep
The cliff I climbed alone may have been steep
But, thank you My Dear Mom just the same
Because only I can see all the shit, that I overcame
All by my lonesomeness, sad that you did not see
The tiger you unleashed inside of me
As I think back on the old days
My heart twists with emotion, in thousands of ways
Sadness; rips me apart
When I think of how I feel, deep inside my heart
From everyone, leaving me in the absolute darkness
Fighting for success
Fear; I am left with a darkened fear
Of having no one near, with a heart sincere
Just to tell me " It will be okay"
Something you did not even say
Also I feel grief; because it makes thirteen years
I have not seen my family; after so many tears
I am convinced my blood family is dead
I am able to remove the memories from my head
But, not my heart
Truth is 13 years ago, I completely fell apart
I became a lost soul, who is forever afraid to speak
My broken and glued heart, that will always feel weak
This is one of my newer additions on this site completely flipped and remastered. I hope you guys enjoy this one more
Like 0 Pin it 3
Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
Heavy heart to read this, is this fact or fiction
Tragic story too often told;
you pulled my heart so much with your poem
No one no child needs abuse
shit it's I L L E G AL
Solidarity with victims of abuse.
Luv Jai :)
Thanks Jai :) Yes it is a factual story line I write about in this write. No and basically bud what hurts the worst is that I basically lost everything to this man's abuse. Not only did I deal with the after effects of his abusive treatment, I also had to accept living with strangers. It was always like a monkey see monkey do effect, Makes almost 14 years I have not seen most of my family, on my mom's side. Lately I have been closing so many doors to those who keep making me believe I have reasons to doubt my honesty. It has been hard, honestly at times, I am not sure what to do or what to feel. So I needed to write a new addition and there is more to come on my story as well. xox
All strength to your poetic heart
Poetry is a medium of courage and
I am sure we are united with you.
Best wishes Jai :)
Thanks Jai, you have no clue how much the encouragement means to me.
Humanity is full of abusive mistakes
Poetry tells the truth of the heart
You should be proud of yourself for having written this.
Thanks Richard, I am proud of myself for writing this I also have others like I told you so which is for my brother and the dad I Never Had. One day I will show these to them but until then it is for me to vent on cosmofunnel :)
I'm so sorry for all your pain :( although your writing is extraordinary! Putting your feelings down on paper was so very brave!!
Thanks Carolyn I try to empty out my storm cloud with out going directly to them about it, lol hurts less in the end that way
Wow...beautiful weaving of a horrendous, atrocious, heinous, unmanly act, perpetrated by an excuse of a cowardly man. The knife used upon your young malable mind, surely must have stung twice as much, as the fact it was used again, by the betrayal of your mother in her disbelief. You are far greater person than I, to still love your mother. Emotions abound in this exquisite portrayal of abuse and utter disbelief from the very source you expect it from.
Thank you Phillip, if you like this one that much you will like many other of my previous writes as well. I tend to use poetry to vent out the eye of the storm. The knife sadly is still used today which is what caused the rage powerful enough to re-write this poem. They label and judge me saying I abandoned them at the age of twelve and all I ever did was lie, but they were never there to judge anyways, so one by one I am opening and closing doors, I do not need these people in my life. The truth will reveal its self one day, is all I say
It is true what you say, the truth will reveal itself and they will have to live with the regrets and damage they caused. Pity though, you have to live with the repercussions. Good luck and stay strong. Some of us actually do give a damn about others.
Yes it is true what I speak, but I must honestly admit to you Phillip I do not think it will ever be told by the abuser himself. He will take his lie to the grave with him, I am afraid. But, I have been secretly planning on a moment of heat for him recorded and in front of my mother. Just I am so used to living this way, that I do not even know if it is worth it revealing to them, that he is the liar not me. It might cause more pain than relief is what I fear
True, revenge never really satisfies, you still feel empty afterwards, but at least the truth is out...
Hi Poetic Heart,
Congrats, your poem is promoted on our F.B page.
Glide on love.
The Cosmofunnel team.
A big thank you:) means a lot to me
I have to tell you, I havn't cried in ten years, but this trully brought tears to my eyes.
sincerly R.M.
Aww,in a way it feels good to know that the little girl that is trapped inside of me was able to show herself a little bit. Need to set her free,n what better way than through writing and art? It feels good to know that the small portions I share here on cosmofunnel are enough to work up people's emotions. Hopefully it will eventually encourage one who is going through something like thst right now.
honorable Poetic Heart,
Good write, thanks for sharing your grief, my applause, congrats on your poem being promoted to COSMO FB page,
Regards & Love
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI