December Angel

Right now
Even as I write these words
From a deep part of me
When I close my eyes
She is always in the background
Of everything I see
Never makes a sound
My gleaming December Angel
Black lipstick stains on my skin
Same as on her cigarette
That poison kiss 
Was the very last thing
I thought I would ever miss
Yet here it is
On my mind again
Those sleepless nights
Empty years
Wasted
Searching for my soul
I have bore this shame 
The blame
For way too long
My vision has almost cleared
My memory forever seared 
Grown strong
How did I let things get this wrong? 
So out of control
Why did I let you walk away?
So many lifetimes ago
Why didn't I ask you to stay?
Knowing what you had stole