decision \ aiad al khayat

he was missed about me like a Mirrors
I've been looking for him for years
when am l admit my love for him ?
But he disappeared a ghost 
between the hate and love
my heart is no know him yesterday
but in the tomorrow would know him
l hate him but love him
or l am not hate him 
or not love him
My life is a contradiction my self
My heart loves him
my mind hates him
My body is scattered
in decision is not known