DECK CHAIRS = THE BERTY AND GERTY SHOW !!!

" Eeh our Gerty! it`s just past chuffin Christmas!

But the telly is just all adverts for them there foreign places!

Where the eck do they think the bloody money comes from?

Ya bloody present cost me a soddin bomb! "

" Yee Gods our Berty! ya only got me bloody one!

Oh but I`d love to go to somewhere like Barbados, or any of them there places with an `os` me duck!

Or maybe Spain just so we can have a look "

" What about the moon or bloody Timbucktoo!!?

Ya think I`m made of chuffin money you!!! "

" Well even chuffin Bradford would be a bloody change!!

Mind you! we`d have to put up with a lot of chuffin rain! "

" Eeh our Gerty can ya remember our honeymoon in Blackpool

And those chuffin deck chairs?

Deck is the right bloody name for em our lass!!

They had me tied up in chuffin knots!

I couldn`t even get em down the bloody stairs! "

" Ooh it were funny me duck!

I piddled meself silly when ya got stuck! "

" Aye... I had to go sideways with the bloody things!!

Can ya remember?....Ooh it still chuffin stings!! "

" Aye...ya got all ya man bits in a right chuffin muddle!

Spoiled me bloody honeymoon it did! or so that were ya excuse!!

But I laughed so much!! I made a chuffin puddle! "

" Eeh our Gerty! but we did have a good time!!

Once we even stayed out past half bloody nine!!

So where are we going to this year me duck?

We`ll have to get some of them there books and have a look!! "

" Ooh eck I don`t know! Skeggy or Rhyle or Mablethorpe maybe!

Or somewhere nice by the sea "

" Eeh but get out of it!! it`s chuffin cold over there our Gerty!! "

" Bloody chuff!! lets just stay at home then our Berty!! "