Deepest Fissures of Pain

I want my mum to cry for me,
as no wife would ever do
 
The woman who knows my every effort to make it in this world
 
She's the only one who'd understand the height from which I've fallen
 
The angel that held my little hands
on the day that I was born
 
She saw me grow and walk and climb
She watched me run and swim
 
And play and learn and study well
Work hard and earn my stripes
 
She's the only soul who can appreciate
my constant sacrifice
and...
how unfair life seems...
 
when little seems come all undone,
and shatter my earnest dreams
 
My mother knows a dignity in me
that other's cannot see right now
 
Because I've returned to utter humiliation,
a place that's very low
 
I want her to share half my tears
when I gaze upon my poor condition
Because the burden is too much
 
No one else could share my sorrow,
not even just a touch
 
I wish I could be comforted
by the heart I trust the most
 
But I dare not tell her
or even hint
that I am in the straits
 
Instead I chirp on the phone
and leave an impression:
a happy face
 
I cannot break her pure heart,
put her through the pain again
 
So I carry on as if all is well;
pull my self together;
and pretend