Dependency

I am addicted to hate,
A river of rough flooded in my veins,
Shot up with just enough to stir my head,
In this sea of rivers, it won't be tough to keep them fed.

Circling,
Pacing,
Endless pictures taken with no film,
Played back and reversed-
Never stood still.

Crying and screaming,
Then hours of silence,
Dreams of dreaming,
By suffocating in the violence.

I am a slave to aversion,
Shackles at my feet won't end this perversion Latched by the panic you've molded into,
Watching as fear itself doesn't even freeze you.

Laughing,
Seething,
Time moves around us with no feeling ,
No play back or reverse-
Time lost are moments you are stealing .

Whispering and coughing,
Then hours of heaving,
Minutes of sweating,
Feels like days of speeding.

I am obsessed with loathing,
Filtered in my blood with an endless coating,
A river of thick coarsing through these lines,
Leaving these eyes dilated and wide, 

Running,
Faltering,
Stumbling on air as I'm breathing
Speaking up and talking out,
Never said it was easy to say it aloud

Choking and coughing,
Then hours of dead air
Desperate moments filled with hawking,
Now speaking- I wouldn't dare.

My body leeches off of hostility,
This river of rough drowns the enemy,
Lack of dictation couldn't stop me
Because in this world of hell, only death sets you free..