Poem -
Depleted
โI played with wordsย
Adjectives, nouns and verbsย
Subjects covered from drugs to herbs...
ยSeratonin now depleted
ย
Such commotion, I spilled emotions
Shead tears enough to fill an ocean
Wishing for a magic potion...The tide has now retreatedย
A jigsaw with a missing pieceย
A Catholic church without a priest
Maybe I should pray to the east?...A puzzle never to be completed
A year has passedย
Good weather, like luck will never last
A dark future, a bright past...Vicious circles are repeated
Dried out in the desert sun
What once was joy... No longer fun
The battle raged, but no one won...I feel somewhat defeatedย
โโโโโโ
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Comments
Dude!!... do you even know how good you are?...... the truth running through this piece is worth its weight In negotiable materials!! (smiles).....I don't think poetry is REAL orย MOVING unless it IS the truth of the person writing it!!.....YOU......are exquisitely profound in your ability to leave it ALL out there on the pavement brother!!.... with a rhyme scheme that sings as well as a MORRISON lyric line!!..... you're a TRUE poet my friend...... no matter what you may think....... your words sing!!......... thank you for sharing this piece of fine craftsmanship!!......tons-O-stars!!...........T xo
Hi Tony, thank you for your comment on this piece and many other pieces before it. It is with encouragement from you and other poets on Cosmofunnel that I have (hopefully) improved and enjoyed my writing this past year. And to quote youย
I don't think poetry is REAL orย MOVING unless it IS the truth of the person writing it!!...
I just don't think I have anything left to say. It's been enjoyable. I'll still keep in touch from time to time. I look forward to reading more books like I used to and reading more from you and Cherie.
Thanks again. Take care my friend - Syd xo
Amazing Syd! I couldn't agree with Tony more; You...are exquisitely profound in your ability.... You're a joy to read my friend!ย
Btw, are you going somewhere? โบ
Thanks so much John and likewise. I'm just going to give writing a break for a while as I feel I've nothing worth while left to say. I'll still check in from time to time though.
Take care - Sydย
Awesome sentiments expressed here, Syd.
I'd like to hear this performed live and in person at a local coffee house during a poetry slam.
Outstanding!
~Dean
Thank you Dean. That's such a compliment. Poetry doesn't seem to be such a big thing in the part of the UK where I'm from. If it was then I would love to visit one of these poetry slams. Sounds fun. Thanks again for reading and leaving feed back.
Take care - Sydย
They're a lot of fun, Syd. I think you would have a good time.
You're very welcome.
~Dean
You are truly gifted, it is such a pleasure to read your masterpieces
Thank you Lisa, and likewise. It's late here but I'll stop by your page tomorrow. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. Thanks for reading and leaving feed back.
- Sydย
That's very kind of you to say, Lisa. But I don't feel I'm anymore gifted than anyone else, especially many of the great and talented authors here on Cosmo, yourself included.
However, I am very glad you enjoyed the poem.
Hugs sent your way, my friend.
~Dean :)
Hi Dean, I think you've replied in the wrong box. Always reply...erm in the the reply section or Lisa will not be notified of your posts. I've caught a few of your comments just by off chance lately.
Hope all is well - Sydย
Sorry about that, Syd. I am obviously still trying to figure out how Cosmo works.
Some aspects of the site are a bit confusing to a newbie like me, LOL.
Thanks for letting me know.
~Dean ? ? ?
Lol. No problem Dean
- Sydย
As usual a thought provoking write.
nicely flowing ย when read aloud,
and interesting play with rhyme.
All of this to say
I really enjoyed your write
both content and flow.
John
Thank you so much John. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. The rhyming format is one I saw on another site. I'm sure it has a proper name. It caught my eye straight away so I thought I'd try it myself. I tend to not just read poems now but also dissect them....I like to see how they're put together.
Thanks for reading and I always appreciate feedback.
- Sydย