Did I do something wrong?

12/04/2021

Did i do something wrong?

 

My situation is formed of atoms of delirium.

This body i have and reside in.

It’s derelict,

Worse than any building.

Pure destruction.

The wave takes me away in lifes ocean.

Like pieces of flotsam.

There’s no talk of a ‘Bevan’ reconstruction.

Only of my bodies undeniable,

Cancer abduction.

Like aliens probing in the wrong direction,

No affection.

Just a painful infliction.

Looking back at me from the mirror,

All i see is my disfigured reflection.

What happened in lifetimes gone?

Did I do something wrong?

To end up with this affliction?

 

My body needs an M.O.T!

Every part of me needs a correction,

Needing constant Drs attention.

I should have a safety bubble suit,

 for my bodies protection!

Constantly needing an injection,

Trying to stop the spread,

Of any infection.

My Cancer has been there over half my life,

So with hateful affection,

We’ve built up,

Quite a connection.

Although somehow it remains below the radar,

Avoiding detection.

Chemo didn’t work,

No matter the concoction!

Then cannabis came along,

Helping with its' decimation.

Helping me live longer,

With new memories I’m treasuring.

Powers above me though,

Wanting my Depletion,

My downfall and lifetime decreasing.

 

I just want to know why or what i've done wrong,

So i can adjust it in my next one,

As in this lifetime,

I’ve grown weaker,

Not strong.

My single smile,

Hiding torrents of tears,

Thinking i may not live that long.

I push those thoughts to the side,

And protect my new 9 person throng.

This is me forever,

For the rest of my life,

Whether short or long.

 

All i want is an explanation,

For my death sentence distribution.

Each day is a Struggle,

A non emancipation.

When will the day come,

For my bodies retribution?

What was the causation,

For the start of my internal,

Burning cremation!

Like final destination 

what keeps me living?

My lady at my heads station.

As well as Each one of boys,

Each my own creation. 

Then will power too,

Not to end up in the heat of damnation.

Every single piece of my past,

Is unadulterated,

Pure nonfiction.

In detail,

Every year of my life,

Needs dissection.

Like the cancer in me that’s rife,

I hate our connection.

My bodies medication,

Rejection.

Surely the whole of me,

Needs a resection.

Then a new resurrection,

Bringing me back to normalisation.

Which is to me,

Is My idea,

Of bona fide Perfection!

So what did i do wrong,

To end up,

Near to annihilation! 

 

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