in dreams it is never winter

I remember so long ago
My father said
There is a time in life
You are more of yourself
Than ever before or again.
He was fifty one then.
Was it something about the maples?
That made him say that.

There is a time in life
You are more of yourself
Than ever before or again.
I wonder for me
Is it now?
I know so much more than before.
Was it something about the maples?
That made him say that.
Yet only a single leaf is vermilion.

I know so much more than before
I always thought he would live forever
Yet only a single leaf is vermillion.
Even his lifeblood had secrets.

I always thought he would live forever
My mother his perfect companion
Even his lifeblood had secrets.
I thought I was ever their child

I see my mothers face at my age
Is this when I will be most myself
I remember my fathers words.
In dreams it is never winter.

When will I be most myself?
I remember Dads words
In dreams it is never winter
He was fifty one then.