Drowning, in

Sometimes, I feel as if I’m drowning, 
When drowning, I feel as if I’m floating. 
Even if my breath, constricted, 
By the liquid, preventing, 
Flow, of fuel, essence, 
Of my being, does not repeat, 
I must wait.

I must halt, because I know, 
The light will soon show, longing to return , 
Blackened by my negative realities. 
But in the form, of such substances, 
As love, drowning in impurities of my past. 
You can never love fully, if you have been left, 
Bloody, and bruised, from past interactions. 
With those who say, they love you boldly, 
But crush you coldly, and slowly. 

Even if you find it in yourself, 
To fight, to live, love, to laugh again, 
You will never have a whole heart. 
But you will gain, extended vibrancy, 
More daring than ever, knowing the fact, 
The only way, your love for show, 
Imitating, emulating, an artificial glow, 
So when, thou doused, the pain, 
  
Eased from a crush, to a blow.