An Empty Blur

Where does my sadness stem from?

This I do not know.

It's endless and empty.

I feel like nothing more than a crow.

Nothing vibrant only black.

No true words just an annoying squawk 

No true home just a place to sleep

Thoughts of my past cut me so deep

But this can't be the root because the future also makes me want to weep

Everything has changed

And I can't say that makes me sad

I've moved on from a place that's bad

But is this reality much better?

Part of me misses my dreamland

I'm in a place where it's hard to even stand

I find happiness in those who eventually leave 

I can't be alone long enough to grieve 

I don't want seclusion to be my tool of growth 

Even when I'm surrounded by people I'm lonely

It's sad to have someone love you when you have a broken heart

It's sad when you know the pain of an ending at the start

Can I just be okay please?

I'm tired of happiness only being a tease

I'm tired of trying so hard to function normally 

I'm tired of depending on others for my sanity

Is there a cure?

I wish I could just bleed it all out

So sick to love watching my blood spill out

What is my sadness even about?

It drains my soul so weak no shout

I just feel like I'm down for the count.