existance contradictions

i have not let you go
i will never let you go
yet, you are gone anyway
i have nothing to show

i think of madness these days
and all that it means, 
existance contradictions
the seen, the unseen
the here, now, the gone
all that white space between

electric shocks of you live on
as alive as you were
contradictions...a stark grave,
not gone but not here

i think that madness is just that, a
push pull of lies, illusions and
cold truths, played with tricksters
in skies

and I have not let you go
i can never let you go
i chase the circles, the squares
of all it is I can't know