Faking It
Let me have my weak moments let me see it grey. What does it do to you to let me feel this way.
Ā I have dedicated my life to making others feel okay, but truly do you honestly have to make me play. A part of a person a smile that is fake, a feeling of aversion to every breath I take. If it is that you see me as here just for you? Doesnāt it matter that in my heart Iām blue.
I feel deserted that you canāt understand
Ā or at least try to, I donāt need you to hold my hand. It is a misconception and a big one at that depression is self-pitying and weak.
Ā Or by other descriptions some people say your bleak. It is unhappiness and the only way to describe is a feeling of dread. Really hating the person that you are.
Am I making any sense Iām emotionless and flat because the new pills Iām on make me feel like that.
When really you can only try to tell the truth of why criticism makes me aloof.
So sorry I am unhappy and sorry Iām a mess, Iām trying to change it and tryin do my best. You tell me you I need to smile a little more so I plaster one on as I enter the door.
My mother she feels that Iām rather weak. If only If I could transfer the feeling of true inner peace. Where do you buy it can I find the store? But really, itās exhausting and Iāve always felt a freak.
Some glide through lives that seem beautifully drawn mine seems a messy weed riddled lawn.
I sound like Iām envious maybe I am but really only want to try to communicate my feelings Something has to change, and I need to do the work and I am getting better but itās easy to revert.
Back to the old feelings of not being worthy of your love or your time or even the sky above.
Itās not frigging easy Iām over it I guess. I think Hey just try and do my best -And fake itĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
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Comments
Wow MICHELLE!!.... this BEAUTIFULLY written!!..... there is an excellent sense of poetic rhythm & timing here that could be a little more 'available' to the reader if it was formatted differently..... but regardless..... it is a VERY compelling piece... that delves into subject matter that is universally relatable....... and has a veryĀ honest toneĀ to it!!...... the reader can tell that you have felt the pain that accompanies the struggle toĀ find the 'inner peace' that you seek!!.......ALL STARS!!...... well done dear poet sister....... and...... WELCOME to COSMO!!........LOVE & ROCKETS!!......T xo ?ā“?