Feckin’ Basket?

“Shut up, for pity’s sake you don’t need to yell”
“Stop shouting in my face,
Are you crazy? What the hell!!”
“I don’t even know you
I’ve never met you before
Yet you have the brazen cheek to come mouthing off at my door”

“Yap, yap, rant, rubbish, that’s a lot of nonsense what you’re saying”
Seriously you need to calm down,
You are spitting & a-spraying”

This total strangers face is beetroot, 
He’s gonna burst a gasket
Eeeh tho what a fowl- mouthed man
Hes calling me a feckin’ Basket

Huh that’s not what he called me
But I’m too polite to tell you the truth
I’ve never heard such blasphemy
This bloke is so uncouth

Tho I couldn’t hear what he was on about
Coz his decibels were too loud
He came oozing fettle at me just like a raging storm cloud
So stepping few paces backwards
As he’s face to face with me
I need to create some space
So I can actually see

Then would you ‘Adam & Eve it’
This idiot shuts his gaping gob
‘Crikey Moses’ it’s not even me hes wanting
‘On my God’ hes such a nob!!
Can you believe him, 
This demon in disguise he said to me:
“Is this door number forty four, I should be at forty three”

Huh then he turns around, storms off like a ‘bat outta hell’
He marches nextdoor & proceeds to ring the doorbell

Well by this time I’ve had more than enough
I think I need a stiff drink
Hes got me all in a quiver
I need some ‘me-time’ just to think

I pour a mahoosive nip of brandy
It might help me ‘destress’ my brain
I turn the volume up on my tv
That monster is shouting his mouth again

This time tho its not to me
Its the poor soul nextdoor but one
Haha ‘Jees’ hes missed a house out
The maniac has over-run 

I’ve locked my doors, closed my curtains
That’s me in for the night
I’m keeping well out of the way
Its gonna end up in a fight