feet below the floor

Soft light.
Trap door.
Obliterated memories of  how I used to be before.

Soft light.
Trap door.
I don’t know how to be anymore.
Pink skies and skinny thighs.
I stopped being young the day time stole the way you used to look.
You cut your hair  to take polaroids.
And I don’t know where you went.

Soft light.
Trap door.
Feet below the floor.
Kiss me how I  thought you would when we were nine.
When caterpillar slime was all we could find.
And we’d make the faces we saw on screens.
They look nothing like me.

Soft light.
Trap door.Poppyseed put me to sleep.
I’ll lie in the road.
And wait for you to drive home.

Soft light.
Trap door.
Your parents got divorced when you were five.
So we’d plan our wedding and  swear to get it right.

Soft light.
Trap door.
What is left to do?
I’ve nowhere to go.
You look like a you that I don’t know.

Soft light.
Trap door.
I say five words every day out of ten.
And tell my brain to stop looking for you again.

Soft  light.
Trap door.
The universe splinters.
The universe gets stuck.
Look up.
And see, the night  sky is not white.
The stars are barely alive.

Soft light.
Trap door.
I wish I wrote  down what you said that night.
When we saved your friend from his mind.