Poem -

Flat line

23/11/2019
Flat line

It was Christmas eve,
In 2004, 
That I was given a key to heavens door,
The final resting place,
My feet floating as no floor...
Surely,
At 19, 
im not gonna flat line.
So before I could die, 
I just wanted to let my drs try...
The result was a landmine.
My whole world disappearing,
Blown to smithereens.
Drs now Trying to keep me in the land of the living with all their means...
Meant to be 6 months of chemo,
My body could only take 5,
“I’m sorry mr Bevan,
But your treatment is killing and burning you,
from inside out.
I’m sorry Mr.Bevan but we’ve lost your plight”
Looking like in life I was losing this fight!
never before have I lost one as have outstanding might...
“Your cancer has consumed you”.
6 weeks I was told,
Till I’m 6ft under,
Riga mortis set in,
My body freezing cold.
Depressed is the way I felt in that 1st week,
After being given a blow like that,
made my mind,
brain and body weak...
I needed and wanted more longevity in my life.
Stealing words from ‘jess song’ by Ghetts,
as our stories are similar,
almost identical in fact!
“I went into fighter mode"
I didn’t know why,
how or what,
Although my will power was completely shot.
After the first week my cancer sped up,
I would be lying if I told you by not alot.
From now 5 weeks,
Now just down to 2 or 3,
All cos’ I was trying for longevity!
The Dr laughed in my face after the end of the first weeks meeting.
“I don’t know what you done james,
But your health is rapidly decreasing,
What have you done to become even more beaten?”
He laughed cos' I said I had given up smoking,
So from sadness he laughed,
Making it a less sombre of a meeting..
“but that’s not the reason for your cancer to speed up,
like it's devouring and eating and draining your bodies end of life.”
Devouring my body till the machines stop bleeping...
“what else have you changed,
For this change in you,
Through the gaps,
your life is now seeping.”
“well along with the smoking,
I gave up can...”
And he stopped me in my tracks,
Quite clearly stating,
“Please don’t tell me...
Smoking Cannabis you’ve given up taking? “
On the strangest advice,
I had nothing to loose,
“go away this next week and as a test,
Test cannabis against your cancer and see if it stalls,
Or possibly Kills this awful disease.
your cancer it may not choose,
But For me,
This next week whether eating or smoking it,
 just try this please.
It’s the only other way I can think of,
To give your life a little more lease.
A little more ease.”
My Drs a genius,
As from that day forward,
FOR THE LAST 14 YEARS,
I’ve been kept alive from cannabis plants and their mini trees,
Proving to the world,
Cannabis can be a cancer stalking killer!
Stalking and demolishing some other cancers and illnesses,
in this way.
Cannabis is the reason,
I’m living and breathing today.
Is the answer to so many peoples end of life plan.
Unfortunately like all drugs,
It worked for mine,
but might not for another woman or man.
But like me they could be given more of a life span.
You never know till you’ve tried,
This magical stalling and healing plant.
5 to 10 years back in 2007,
Telling me, 
Once again,
My  cancer will send me,
To what they believe is ethereal heaven.
It’s been 12 and a half years now!
This cancer isn’t gonna kill off another of the Bevans!
I know to look at,
You’d say i’ve deteriorated,
Don’t let that fool you though,
as my life is thankfully belated.
I’ve got my 3 boys to keep me strong.
I’ve got my 3 boys to keep my fight going on.
Without them I fear that my life would be gone.
They are my soul,
The reason my heart shines,
As they are My mini mes' and my own lifelines.
They give me reason to tackle my cancer directly,
head on.
I’ve told you already,
This ain’t the end of this man,
Now 34,
The now not late.
But as said,
 not by me,
The great James Bevan will live on more!!
Even though once again I’ve got cancer,
Knock,
Knock,
Knocking on my front door,
Cannabis has prevailed and stopped it as before,.
Even though is still there,
There’s No more knock,
Knock,
Knocking for me anymore!
So a massive Thank you to my Dr for saving me and more!
As if it wasn’t for them,
 I’d never have had these 3 amazing boys,
Turning my life from sadness to one,
This proud dad now enjoys!
a life where my kids bring all of lifes Joy's...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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