Fool me once; Shame on you. Fool me twice; Shame on me.

Some friends are like finding a mirage in the desert. From afar, it looks bright. Like a puddle of water radiating with hope. Hope that after being lost for several days and suffering from dehydration of the deserts dry heat, that you may have found your savior. Unfortunately the closer you get to the source, it becomes apparent that this life saving liquid is not hope, but a sad lie. It’s that moment that the truth unfolds and you realize that it wasn’t even ever there. That you’ve been fooled by a mirage. A mirage that was disguised as your “best friend”. For seven years, we grew up together. Hand in hand, it was you and me against the world; blood sworn. As a result of the mirage paradigm, friendship is an uncommon bond I share, and to hold that in your hands is a great prize. Not because I am narcissistic, but because I don’t easily open the gates of my heart to just anybody. But for you, bestfriend. I did, with open arms.

The first time you wronged me was four years ago. You chose your so called “good friends” over me and allowed them to carelessly throw death threats my way. Those threats haunted my dreams, tainted my perspective and had me constantly looking over my shoulder. They told me to go kill myself, and you never once stood up for me. In fact, you enabled it. You were a coward. For that, I suffered the consequences while you happily carried on. It was this experience that caused the worst betrayal I’d ever felt, and it stuck with me for the years to come. But eventually, I forgave you. Fool me once, shame on you. The second time you wronged me, was yet another betrayal. When I found out about your inappropriate involvement with my first love (whom I had previously been with for 1.5 years), you became the second person to ever break my heart. Maybe for that reason, you two were perfect for eachother. But despite the fact that the wounds of heartbreak he inflicted on me have since healed... The memories erupted full force like an active volcano upon hearing of your indiscretion. Perhaps it’d be different if you had told the truth the first time when I directly asked you. Instead, you lied and again, I hurt. It is me who suffers the consequences. Fool me twice, shame on me.

It is experiences like these that remind me why I enjoy keeping to myself. I find it easiest to avoid being hurt if you don’t give people the power to hurt you. Unfortunately sometimes this means not having friends at all, or at least highly restricting who is in your circle. When my gut told me otherwise, I trusted my friend when she said “nothing was going on”. It was that sole decision that caused me learn a lesson. I now know that just because you have certain morals, doesn’t mean others have the same. Because of this, expecting the best in people is a mistake.