Foolish

Seems foolish now; everything I saw at one time as progressive or achievments never to you seemed enough. You constantly brought up, you, your past. How you exceed all expectations and you suceeded at all you touched.

I don't yell or scream anymore. Heck, I don't do much more than nod. Every now and then a sigh I can't hold may arise. Yes, I am your child. I know what legacy you lead and how you shine brighter than the sun when you decied to do any deed. That on the outside at least, you are with out spot or blemish. Even as I write this I find myself shaking my head.

Indeed I am your offspring; meant to be better, greater, the biggest trophy on your shelf. Before the anger and internal hatered. The days hazy with sunlight, bubbly with laughter. Dotted with the times we spent together; just the two. You were there for everything; taught me expression, morals, hope, dreams and the only love I knew.

Then came a period of dark. Mostly remembered with rain; yea, I still hear it  even when its clear, blue sky, sunny days. You did better than most and tried to explain that you were sick; still I was young; you were vague. In the end all the change was too much, but, we all truged on. Alone, confused, we walked through our deepest valley. At least for me. The deepest at the time.

With the rain you dissapeared. Always in the darkness of your room. Left for work, came home, laid down, spared few words. Then the seeming random days when you where fine as I left for the day. When I came home, saw the dark room, heard you speak with weak, sick, pain gasping words. Suddenly there were no longer the times where it was just us two together. Then you seemed to get better. But, something was very wrong all the same.

No sunshine came back, no laughter, no crafts. We instead seemed to be opposed. At home your anger was blind to whom it lashed. Still. It seemed targeted at me. You both had apparently gathered armor, bloody, battled tested and pre-paired for a battle I had no hint was so close. So, quickly, making up time. I built some of my own.

We all did and still do, bleed beneath our rusted steel shells. We're exhausted from the fight. Broken by the memories of war birthed images. Ones that seem to only grow in content, not dwindle with the armies falling men. You were always dissapointed! Even when the medals graced my neck. There was only talk of exceeding that mommentary 'achievment'. No at second did we dwell in the already achieved. At first I enjoyed it, then the fun dissapated. At the core I found they were all from you. Your wants, likes, interests.

You did though, dwell in my failures. You hammered me to the cliff face a new with each one. The buzzards even got tired of removing my rotting corpse from the stone I was offered upon. Now we were enemies. There was a bounty on your head; I had a vendettea and here I am at, well, I guess the end. In my rampage to make you hurt the way I had and (not as much) still do. To inflict flesh ripping pain on your soul like you once would.

In this quest of rebellious destruction. I destroyed myself too.

Oh, how foolish. How foolish I was; foolishness that the pain made me ignorant to.