For Want of Better Dreams

Witchetaw, Burbank soma coma, 
Upshot downtrodden slipstream timewarp banana peel logic, 
Quantumtotem jack of all trades signet of insignia in a format of complicity, spent, 
Deontology of the miraculous, synopsis of a kiss, 
Dreaming of a dream,
Ferment of intaglio intelligensia,
comorbid with the integral onomatopetic, 
systematic deconstruction of the Sherpa guide,
on a soulquest of the lost temples of the Shaolin,
in the deem ectomorphic exospeculation of a nuance,
dressed in the symmetry of your affection for others, 
Do you remember the time I fell and you helped me up?
Your smile was the shape of memories,
Your body designs the stars,
and sets them deep in the velvet
The writing's on the wall he said...
she fell into a cloudy day,
I held her there forever,
To help her,
lament was made a home in my heart...
as she forgot I existed,
I am not who I was anymore I said to myself,
He held himself in stark contrast to the minutia of chance and change,
looking deep into the grain,
I am not you anymore,
Quellspring of the omnipotent,
God I cried to you,
why did you abandon me when I was weakened by this?
Love is meaningless without this progression. 
I want to wake up now...
The dream's grown stale...

Wait...

I'm still holding her forever,
she being everyone who's ever helped me transform in their image of me,
I was a chameleon before, so uncertain,
cloaked in retribution guilt and the decoupage of the symptomatic desire for betterment,
I've let go a thousand times a thousand,
I'm lost again...
deep in the labyrinth of hope this time,
things are not the same,
I am not who you created, I don't owe you anything...
I am not a slave to eternal fantasies,
where I either die infinitely or never die,
I see now I exist on other planes and no one would ever believe the vistas I have seen,
I have traversed the Bardo, 
I have reinvented reinvention itself,
You see the Halosh changed me...
I am the Majou now, of this otherworld...you won't understand now but someday you will,
I want to be the Metatron intervening on the hidden domain you cannot help but remember in your dreams,
Remember that trip in 94? 
That was me too,
I have no shame
You saw me then,
and you told me you have been with me since I was born 
and you told me you selected me,
and I am not for this love,
I am not for anyone,
I want to disintegrate into every form,
and be the substance of eternity,
do you remember how I confronted my demons with respect,
My compassion for the devil?

Do you remember this?
My imperfections design my emptiness,
I need to become more than I was before,
maybe for now this is enough...
I'm going to be who I want to be from now on,
I'm better than I was before...
I have transcended the gordian knot,
untied it with a kiss,
in hopes of you...
for want of better dreams.