Forever Mourning

My eyes soaken 
Weighing burdens 
Heavey flowing
Future bestowing 
The hatred of the past that has me in forever mourning 
No good mornings
Stormy nights of tears 
Frustration in my mind 
Surrounded by pain
Didn't have the right gear
Stuck in fear
Every now and then feeling a cold chill
Confusion in my heart
Lost in life with no steer 
No direction can help me here 
No person can hold me tight enough 
To get rid of the loner feel 
No person can kiss me long enough 
To warm me from the chills
I can't deal 
Demons in each path I take
I guess I'm destined for real 
Forever darkness 
My eyes forever red from tears 
Headaches like gun wounds to the temple 
Past messing with my mental
Life to me is never simple 
My heart breaking from each breath tho I don't want to die 
But I live in sigh 
I feel as though I live a lie 
Heart acheing unknowing why 
Unknowing the solution 
About to lose it 
Don't even have the rhymes to create music 
Which use to make me happy 
But I've used it
Up
Feeling sick to my stomach like a kick to the gut