THE FORGOTTEN POEM. Struggling with Insomnia and PTSD symptoms. Written then forgotten I had written until months later.

As I lie awake tossing and turning
This becomes yearning,yearning to how things used to be.
This is the past I know,My hear and now is all mixed up.
I was chasing a fix,This is not what I need
My pain is more real if I bleed.
The wound will heal,only I can tell the scar from afar.
This is nothing like the scar in my heart.
It is raw. The knife still twisting,inch by inch deeper and deeper.

I want to close this wound,not ripped out like a hound on a fox.
The ripped tissue torn and frayed.
The muscle and tendon,unable to spasm.
The heart beats on alone in it's cavity all striped out.
It's only alive because it's pulsating.
A sign life must go on.

Stop this devil dancing in my soul,i can't embrace this devil
It is my enemy.
In time it will get quieter,I just hope it stops the torment in my soul.
I guess that's a good start for a goal.