Fraudulent Tears

Please Mommy, don't cry!

this battle I fight

brings more tears to your eyes

than I've cried tonight

Behind the fictitious smile

and the artificial veneer

at the core of it all

it was never as it appeared

By definition, I'm too robust to ever complain

too youthful and inexperienced to ever feel pain

yet the tortuous screams that belong to my brain

has labeled me incurably and dangerously insane

How did you not see of my suffering before today?

or did I not seem to be ill because there was no visual pain?

I took a knife to my wrists and watched as I bleed

and only now, as I lay in this hospital bed, you see me

You see me for the ill child that I've always been

with an illness you wrote off as a prayer fixing sin

I see tears from your eyes, but it's fraudulent to feel

if you can't admit- that I'm suffering and mentally ill