Poem -

FUCK BOYSTOWN

pfffft

Crazy thoughts,crazy mind
Contemplating suicide
as i choke on this pride
too myself ive always lied
no rewind
to go back then
cant forget where
cant forget when
no escape inside my head
my life in pieces torn and shred
sleep is what i mostly dread...
Dreams so vivid 
dreams so real
evil dreams that always steal
all my hopes my innocence
i wake up scared am always tense
so back too thoughts in my mind
those crazy ones of suicide
how do you kill
something thats died
emptiness i call this ride
all this time
ive had too bide
always thinking of my suicide
 

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Katina Woodruff...

 
Hello Mark, thanks for sharing your story. It's very thought provoking and emotion packed! You did a great job with writing about an epidemic in our society. Depression is a disease, one that often takes lives. Most don't understand what it's like to have these hard thoughts -- you know, you are at the bottom of the ocean when thoughts like this come into your mind. You feel lost and unloved, or your mind tells you that you are alone, when in reality, you have people around you who love and care about you. However, when depression strikes, it's hard as heck to find the hope that life promise.

I started taking the bipolar and PTSD medication a few years ago, however when I feel good, I sometimes stop taking the medication which lands me back at mental health. I'm hoping my depression stays away for good, but if it comes back (and it will) I'll be more ready to fight back - with meds, exercise, prayers, family support and creative writing.

 Being a member here, could lessen the symptoms of depression. When I found Cosmofunnel, I was severely depressed. Okay enough about me. Sorry, I just have lived with depression most of my life, but never understood the "why" it continues coming back. I wrote a poem you may like to read, it's on the 2nd page of my poems posted called: Let Me Go! It's about having suicidal thoughts. 

Thanks again for sharing your poetry. It gave me inspiration to write something new today. It's about being a survivor. 

Have a wonderful day 

If you ever get these thoughts in the future, they have a number (in the states) 2-1-1, it’s an emergency number for mental health emergencies. I would write down the number of your hospital and other emergency mental health agency numbers, to post on the refrigerator or other place. It’s good to have some type of plan (for when it strikes again). Also, alcohol is a depressant and shout be avoided for those who have been diagnosed with clinical depression. Good luck in your recovery. We’re here if you should ever need to talk, vent, yell, or to tell jokes.

Humor is great!

A great (humorous) writer here is: A Lonely Journey, his writing is awesome, just a good person to communicate with especially if you're having a bad day. He is very funny! 

 

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