The Girl Inside

Where is that girl inside of me? That colorful girl I used to be

The bohemian artist so full of life, who could sing and write the day away

Where is that vigor and unstoppable spirit?

The dreamsI had so full of promise

I was going to run wild and free

The world was mine, I had so much time

Where are the days when there was not pain

When energy was pouring out of me

I had so much to do

I was going to sing and act

I was going to travel

I was going to write and create beautiful things

And read every book I could handle

They are all distant memories of a time long ago

Before pain and muddled thoughts were my reality

I remember a time when I was respected

Not a woman to be rejected

By an illness people do not believe is real

To be mocked and made fun of by those who you love

The stigma is cruel, if they only knew

The hours you weep in the long, lonely night

While you sit so still, not a sound you ignite

Where are my dreams? They have turned so cold...

I don't even hope, I don't know how to anymore

I just try to make it through day by day

Hour by hour

Minute by minute

Hoping each moment may bring, less pain

Less ridicule

Compassion

Love that has been lost to a horrible lot

Pain please go away just for a day

I want to have quality of some sort Dear God, I pray, are you listening?

I sometimes wonder

Instead of judgment, could you give me a hug

Instead of a lecture, an "I love you"

A gift without a catch

For I never get a break

It would be a kind thing to do

It would make my day and though the pain would not go away

It would ease some stress, nonetheless

Because inside, I am the girl I used to be

For she has never gone away, she is safely tucked away

Perhaps a miracle, perhaps a cure

Perhaps someday, perhaps someday