GOLD in the SUN.
Each smile i laugh in intense joy,
my eyes tears,
and when my eyes in pain weep ,
my mouth still tears,
like the Wli waterfalls ,
ignoring the strength of the senile but rocked Afadjato mountain,
as though life has lost control
i only wish ,
Finally when Tso Tsoo bi
elegantly steps in ,
in his rounded nature rounder than my skull,
ever burning in gold,
envied by all but the Ashanti Hene,
just like a mother and a child
my tears he dismisses
like water and fire ,
scotching my brownness in remembrance of originality
a tickle that empowers my soul,
Then i begin to see
with the eyes of the aged gods,
i see the black in the clouds
the yellow in the green,
and the joy in the pain,
then i realize
that life is a puzzle to man
but a joke to the gods.
just like the scars on the skin of a tiger,
and the drops of life that man runs from.
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Comments
Hi Pepper, I haven't read you before........but I really liked this.....there's something in the way you refer to "The Gods" that seems honest.........like you were native American or Hawaiian or something.........your reverence shines through here.........strong sense of rhythm and timing.........."scotching my brownness in remembrance of originality" just jumped out at me......I can't quite put my finger on it........but you're very unique in your writing style.............much enjoyed........well done my friend..........smiles.......tony xx
Hi Tony,
Well its true there's something hehe, I am closer to the gods and i wrote this directly from my heart to this page ,so its fresh from my soul and sincere, .... lol i am actually African and live in Ghana presently.
well, i can interpret this line 'Scotching my brownness in remembrance of originality' in two ways . First, "Tso Tsoo bi" is a local dialect that means the sun, so i meant to say that the sun( which is often very dominant and scotching down here) shines on my my skin which is brown this process causes my body to secrete more melanin and thus make me darker.. which reminds me of my originality as an African,
Secondly,when this same sun shines on me , it reminds me of nature , which is original.
I am extremely happy that you enjoyed reading this poem, Thanks a lot......... RESPECT.
Sonia.
Very original as Tony has conveyed and riddled with pride, from the poem teller, throughout its entirety...Much enjoyed Pepper..
Jim
Hi Jim,
Thanks, true originality births pride and that's what i see to be the gate pass to wherever .
Respect Jim.
Pepper.
Excellent write, My applause, My vote
Regards & Love
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
Hi Curtis,
Now i don't know what to say, i am your fan , i appreciate your comment and the fact that you are impressed about my poem. the truth i feel that editing a poem with the intention to make it better does not make it better but rather makes it loose its originality, i know this is debatable... just a thought.
I like that its fresh.
Thanks...
Pepper.
Well said Pepper...I as well feel, that if a poem is posted, then it was posted, because it was considered complete by the author and anytime someone else feels, that the poem could have been considered better by an addition of words are group of words,or the removal of another, without the writer agreeing to the change, well then it loses its air of originality, meant to remain by the creator...If the creator isn't looking for corrections and is satisfied with their works, so am i..We don't always, (healthily learn), from someone else's critiquing, it leads, to others work, being sometimes stigmatizing and a sense of insecurity and en-assurance in their abilities, although the old saying speaks volumes, "practice at all times, surely do make all things perfect".Sometimes your best spoken intentions, is better kept unsaid." You will get no debate from me.....
Sincerely,
Jim
Legend Jim,
I do understand what you said and i agree peeping from one light ... but as you said , you will get no debate from me too ...i think perfect sleeps in imperfection and originality.True the creator has the authority .............
Understated,
Pepper.
Hey Pepper,
Very elegantly spoken and with much agreeance from me... .(I think perfect sleeps in imperfection and originality)....Very well conveyed...
Jim
Dear Jim,
YES , i am glad you agree.
Thanks,
Pepper.
All your writes are praise worthy, but this one stands out as one of your best works.
Thanks Kimmy, I agree with you to some extent.