Harpoon Loouey - Pseudonym Pen Bukowski

although just a pint size Notre Dame 
hunched quarter back 
     with rock solid state frame
Pen (short for pennilessness), 

     a generic cents less game
some dime a dozen 
     day late dollar short left lame
leg quarter back 
     reminisced to the regular name
mass a chew sitz 
     bay thing ghosts of shame

full gory days his 
     unbridled victories on the grid
iron, what he lacked in stature, 
     he more than hid
as stealth weapon 

     compensated as air tight lid, 
when getting hold of pigskin 
     grasped for dear life
     after he instantaneously 
     morphed into octopus squid

as his tentacled suction-cupped fingers 
     dug into the thick 
leather as if going 
     on whale'n expedition 
     after he did slick
his harpoon, this smirking,
 
     eponymous, notorious, 
     and villainous sea sunned 
     marine monster (he proudly and quick
lee happily posed atop cetaceous creature 
     moments prior to prick
king the infamous Moby Dick,

which briny deep exploits landed him a gig 
as one super (albeit pint sized) athlete, 
     plus adept at performing an Irish jig, 
whence (by George) his polymath 
"Twinkle Toes" Shaw man ship agility 

     spread be yon male pig 
former and latter noms de plumes 
     hash-tagged, and etched 
     on his tombstone after 'til rig
or tenon mortise peri wig

gulled last living breath of salty air
after exhausting simony lick kits bare
meanwhile, forever refining 
     blubbering profane words crystal clear

aware that his demise could occur, 
     perhaps during exploit far out to sea 
     with salty water everywhere,
thus this thick raunchivist 

     master bait catching fear
some skipper known in whirled wide webbed 
     under water world, 
     cuz rumor did hear
auld his death defying exploits infiltrated 

     into the most remotely secluded lair
asper rugged crunchy captain 
     who didst dare 
the devil with dirty deeds 

     done dirt cheap, which flair 
subjected suffered gross distortion 
     due to optical glare
pandemonium ensued, sans each small hair
 
along backbone viz zit ting spinal tap vie 
tall hetty to rise 
     a flickr ring shutterfly  
more years than anyone could reckon, even Pi

Tha Gore Ass, hence 
     mystery fed legends, 
     any rhyme or reason asper 
     ruddy faced weather beaten 
     expert, who sailed every square inch 
     of the globe well nigh

cutting down to size mythologized 
     outrageous Leviathan sized monster 
     mashing machine with jaws of steel 
     that did wonders for the tourist industry the my
tee buck reared, snorted, twittered no lie

as truth told by Ishmael, 
     whom aye did befriend 
(said galley hand decked the halls, 
     of christened ship Pequod), 
     who strongly attest didst descend,
despite incontestable stance, 
     sans supposition,
     
     aye aver Captain Ahab 
     DID NOT perish at sea, 
     thus, his privateer life 
     did not meet a cruel end,
but believe his doppelganger incognito 
     body double electric reincarnation fiend

actually said peg legged swash
buckling adventurer of the high seas, 
     that saline mosh pit - by gosh
(hee...hee...hee 
     how blimey lame such archaic balderdash
 
(anyway...i gotta hunch), ghost 
     of spirited sailor lives incognito, 
     here at 2 highland manor 
     a this bucolic schwenksville, 
     pennsylvania enclave.