harsh
is this a dream has this really happened
is this real am i really here right now
i dont feel i am here i seem to have disappeared
disappeared and vanished into thin air
sitting on my bed feeling non existent
with tears in my heart and frustration in my heart
craving and craving what i still can't have
passing through each day fighting and fighting
wondering if my dreams will ever come true
wondering will things ever be easier, ever be different
this mental health struggles this trauma what a nightmare
so many traumas and ive disappeared and im fragmented
because it all felt so unreal i started feeling unreal
mind and heart was overpowered by so many sad things
how can a girl who's mind experienced this stay present
she had to disappear she had to split off and dissociate
she had to do this just because she couldnt cope
i know i should be kind to myself and tell myself I am ok
but life has made me so angry and I just want to smile
I don;t want this pain every day and this fighting every day
I want to step out of this journey that is a nightmare
I want to be healed and laugh and blossom like a flower
I just desire a little bit of normality its not too much to ask
I need the doves and I need peace just like i need sleep
for how does one be happy when they no longer see the world in the same way
how does one feel joyous inside when ones mind has been shattered
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Comments
Wow ADELE!!....this is harsh reality here..... it is sad to know this is your experience here...... but you're expressing yourself well in this write.....I pray that this is a VERY powerful purging of the soul for you .....dealing with depression and its effects on the psyche is difficult....I KNOW this because I've been hospitalized with it before ~twice..... but I've gotten past it...... its been over 15 years since any extreme bouts of manic depression has been a factor in my life...... It's all in how you face each day.... at least that's what Ive found ......ALL STARS on this piece for this blunt honesty!!....... well done......LOVE and ROCKETS!!.....T xo ?✳✴☀
hello cherie and hello tony. how are u both today?
thanks for ur kind comments.. yes it is a sad poem but thats because i have been through so much and there is and has been so much sadness and brokenness there..
yeah as for dealing with depression.. its much more than just depression.. i struggle with my emotions on a daily basis and my moods and other stuff related to trauma.. think i have borderline personality.. but yeah how things in life and how ur mind can feel and be affected is really pretty horrible.. i guess that feeling of sadness or despair is sometimes so strong that it is harsh to make people suffer liek this.. that is true.. that is why i called the poem harsh..
i am glad that u like the poem
just wish i hadnt gone through everything i have to feel that sad in the first place
thanks