Harsh reality

I am told I am pretty, 
I am told I am kind, 
I am told I am idolised,
but how much of this is a lie.

To get shamed for my looks,
to get shamed for my jokes,
to get shamed for minding my own business just so others feel higher-up.

To be told I am gorgeous,
I believe this is now untrue,
but when harsh comments are said,
”your ugly”
my heart believes this is true.