Poem -
He is Lord of Hosts
Warrior King in the Barracks
Your name is feared
Let your army come
and establish your justice
upon our land
as you order your troops there
Come generously, with boon to share
And come mercifully
As we will redistribute your gifts in fairness with each other
Don't terrorise us
but bless our loyal city
For we acknowledge your matchless power and legitimate reign
And will defend it till death
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Comments
I like where you’re going with the poem. I sensed that you could bring into focus more about the subject of the poem. Who is Lord of Host? Is that a character from a game, movie, or invented? What is his purpose. Just some questions that I had when writing the review. I'd be happy to return to read it again and review it once I understand more about the poem.
1. Bring out the, Lord of Host more. (appearance/actions/purpose)?
2. Describe a scene and take the reader with you on your quest/journey.Â
I enjoyed reading your poem, Stagnation. I rated it, 5 stars
Have a great day and a Happy New Year!Â
All year I have been on a personal project to rewrite 'The Lord's Prayer' as taught by Jesus to his disciples from different perspectives. This is one among 15 + other versions. Was thinking of turning the best of them into a Calendar and/or Monthly Diary publication. It is sparse as it needs to follow the same lines as the original prayer in Matthew