Heartbreak

Heart break isn't tragically beautiful, 
Heart break isnt cute little girls up at 3 in the morning listening to sad songs reading
John Green.
It isnt pretty or fun.
Heartbreak is being okay for weeks at a time until you are driving past the place you guys first met and turning to 
see him in the seat next to you, but realising he isnt their.
Its listening to a new song on the radio that you love and typing out a message to him but then deleting it because
it finallty hits you that he doesnt care anymore.
Heartbreak is staring at the bottom of a bottle, surrounded by dirty plates and pillow cases stained with 
mascara from screaming into them just to stop your body from shaking.
Heartbreak is waking up at 4 in the morning with an aching pain in your chest trying to get the sound of his voice out of your head.
Its walking through a crowded street and seeing his face in every single person you walk past and you start to feel the 
ghost of his lips on yours and his hands running through your hair or the way his voice was so soft as he told you 
he wouldnt leave you, and you start to realise all you have left now is the hundreds of photos you's took together, trying to 
get one good one that you could show to the world, proof that you were mine and i was yours.
Heart break is painful and terrifying
And do you no what? you dont have to be okay, you dont have to be strong, you dont have to hold back your tears,
go out, go out and kiss as many guys as you need to get the stamp of his lips off of your own,
flirt, flirt with every guy you can to make him regret the day he said you werent good enough, 
cry, until you cant feel a thing because there is nothing shameful about clearing your eyes.
And one day, one day youll cry yourself a fountain of youth, and from there its just the beginning. 
You will build yourself back up, you will forget about the way he held your face like it meant something to him and you 
will forget the way he looked at you like your eyes held the stars. You will move on. 
Heartbreak isnt about learning to be happy again, its about remembering that you were happy before.
Heartbreak isnt easy,
but one day, one day youll get there,
and maybe on that same day, he will look back at you and he will realise what hes done
and he will be where you are now, waking up at 4am with an aching pain in his chest,
remembering what he was trying to forget the night before.
But by this time, its too late.
You will finally have moved on and you will be long gone.