Hello to my goodbye

"I sit by the table, yet sitting on my chair"

and so many ideas
glide to my mind
about life and what's fair
and my sheet of paper I stare
and I count the lines
I've done it so many times
I say the number of lines
every single time
and when i can't align,
I think about self waiver
a grievance of self feedback
and where I lack
sometimes it helps
to put me back on track
and it helps it's a drive to true fack.
To suggest yourself"
where to digest
all the negative"
so I can feel in the new positive"
and dissolve my absorb abilities"
  accepting all my acceptabilities"
now accelerates
to open more access,
to the rest of my inner accessories"
transforming what accentuates
to All Access to my abilities
without knowing by accidentally  straight to its absolute
 I step back” and watch all” absorptivities
of stuff in activity
diminishing with lightning
but slightly trew my absorb abilities  feels like I want cry
believe me one more tear and die.
As the world abominates
and abolishes abravesavely"
my abnormalities'
creating a way
to where it abridges,
to that layer just before my bone
I'm a Christian
but i stand next to the virgin mary"
"cant stop crying now
because inside i know
she's more than a fairy”
"I can't stand
but next to her on my knees I can”.
If word was the first from god" to all, then believe that word
from me to all is my last"
Can't you read words of cold
as ice age”
but brutal like the stone age”
I've molded you' to know your told “
i'm in blistering cold"
because of you dead alone".
I'm out of ink so swallow my last link”
i wrote pretty and write ugly
all my words had a meaning
but understanding
was another thing.
hope my words
are "not as confusing
Like in my life
you found nothing amusing”!..