Holding Back

As I close one door I open another...I cant let my feelings hinder the things im suppose to discover....it aint always about a lover, did you ever stop to think it could be about my mother?...Sometimes I feel insane tryna bottle up all this pain but this **** is etched in my brain...its like a demon that I try to hide all along im dying because of pride i wouldnt dare pull someone to the side...Its hard as hell to keep this **** inside...deeply tucked away wearing a fake **** smile each and everyday wondering will this pain ever go away?....I try and I try but I cant help but to hear this child cry....anybody ever ask why?...no...you assume that im in a dark loom because of a lover, a sister, or a brother...try and ask me...do I ever think about my mother....