How have I made it, how?

How have I made it, How? 

People always say,
‘’Oh me,
oh why''
And I get it now,
How have I made it,
‘’How?''.
Especially as a father,
To still be living past,
The age that I am now!
My story,
Not to float my own boat,
As isn't me,
Has been one of great adventures,
I’ve so many a good a memory,
But from birth,
My joker card,
Has ensnared my life. Throwing turmoil at it, Entwining,
Weaving,
Through,
In and out.
Making sure over any happiness,
There’s always dark clouds looming,
When my smile’s about. Happiness blossoms within me,
To overshadow the dark.
But be sure it’ll always be within.
As I’m always playing the game of lose and win.
It’s like 2 symmetrical realms, Both tugging at me,
To and throw.
2 mirror worlds,
One foot inside eachother, Splicing me inbetween, Oneself in a bad dream,
The other a wealth of love and warmth,
And smiles that beam. Laughter and giggles, Whereas the other side is more sinister,
It’s darker.
No smiles are found,
Only tears and pain,
And me wanting back in my dream realm again.
In my hazy bubble.
My kids,
My partner and I,
Hopefully one day can look on,
And there’ll be not a single dark cloud in the seemingly, Never ending sky.
Hopefully one day,
But for now,
as always,
I’ll weather the storm,
And through lifes rough waves,
I’ll forever raid.
Coming out of the storm ridden seas,
Onto calmer waters,
With searing bright heat but a summers breeze.
Pull up the sail,
Bring in the oars,
Let this vessel,
Finally slide,
Onto brighter shores...
It’s not my time yet,
To be knock,
Knock knocking,
on heavens doors,
I’ve plenty more time to cherish,
Not perish,
For that I’m sure.
My boys leading me into a sunlight,
Much brighter than before.
My partner now stood with us, Looking like a family,
Once more!
So how now,
can I let the darkness in,
when my light shining from within,
Is nothing but pure!