Hurt And Pain

Why do I feel so lost and left without a cause,
Why do I feel like everything should be put on pause.
But when I cut you off there ain't no coming back.
You underestimated me I feel under attack. 
Why do I cry in the night hoping there will be no pain, why are all the little things driving me insane. Why can't I find purpose why can't I find hope. 
Seems like all the good I do leads to an empty road.
A dead end I can't win, I live my life in so much hurt in pain, that the cycle starts to drive me insane. How do I recover from all that has been damaged, I don't understand it I thought I could manage.
I'm unstable I'm unable to break free from the pain.
It's like the more I give the more they run away. 
I can live my life unhappy or forget it all but the healing process is much more of a cost.
I feel lost I'm in the dark somebody help me.
If I keep going through life like this i'll be so unhealthy. Just know that this girl is on fire and won't give up until she get what she desires. I have a lot on my plate but I can't give it up till its all ate. I take the time to do what I love, but it's not gonna work if I keep screwing things up.
I can rearrange and change how I feel but, to be blunt there's no changing these wounds and cuts. I guess the only thing to do is to work with what I have despite my pass, so I will not clash.