I Can’t Let Myself Wonder

I threw you to the wolves without even meaning to

When I opened the door last night

I didn’t think you would leave me -

See the opening and run for it.

I had to go to bed,

Couldn’t torture myself any longer

With the what ifs

That may have befallen you -

Another loss for me -

An untimely death

Hit by a car - mauled by a hungry animal.

Or, in another furtive vision

You, with a friend, a new lover even -

Enraptured; with me

So far from your little mind.

Now, it's morn - the clock says so

But it's an endless ebon scythe outside

And I'm listening for your voice

Between the drip drip of percolation coming

To my aid.

I’ve no idea where you are

And I can’t let myself wonder if you miss me.