Poem -

I choose today...

I choose today...

I told a very special person to me, that I'm dying slowly
That I've had horrible thoughts and that I feel so lonely
This is a man who is lost and welcomes a breakdown
I need to love myself before others do, but don't know how

What better way
To choose today
To make a change
I'm just tired and in pain...

Sorry for such sad words again and again, I suppose I'm crying out to be saved
I don't help myself but I need to, I'm so scared that I'm leaving it too late
I'm growing up like I'm drip fed a piece of life every time I cry
I'm just fed up of carrying a heavy sad smile, time after time

I don't want to be touched, but I want a true loves kiss so much
When I close my eyes, I can taste a crisp sunkissed morning on my lips
Just because I'm a man it doesn't mean I want to be loved any less
My life needs to change for I need to breathe and be caressed

What better way
To choose today
To make a change
I'm just tired and in pain...

I'm torn between my life I desire and the life I'm running from
I'm drowning in murky waters but then I am caught in the storm
I'm trying to become a happy person inside and out
I'm not going down without a fight, my heart won't allow it

So tomorrow isn't good enough
It's time to pick myself up
Today is a self intervention
No more tragic humiliation
So...
What better way
To choose today
To make a change
No more living in pain!

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Comments

author
Dean Kuch

So many people in our world today are filled with pain, Wayne (how's that for an impromptu rhyme, 'ey?).
Pain that is perceived.
Pain that is a physical manifestation of their ailments.
Pain of the mind, body and soul.
Many of us feel like a person who's been cast overboard off a cruise ship or luxury liner. Everyone on board is having such a great time they're too otherwise engaged to notice that we've fallen overboard and thus too busy to throw us a life preserver.
So, we slowly sink and drown or...
...we swim—we swim for all we're worth!
I choose to swim.
Lovely poem, Wayne.
Exceptionally well penned.
~Dean
 

Reply
author
Wayne Stubbs

Thanks very much Dean, I choose to swim, I'll just get my rubber ring and arm bands ???, no, but you're totally right Dean, some in this world need a little more looking after than others, not everyone can look after themselves as strong as the next...
thanks very much as always Dean ?

Reply
author
Tony Taylor

Hey WAYNE!!.....I too live in pain each day.....I have a Spinal Cord Stimulator implanted on my spine to help me cope!!..... so I can totally relate to this masterfully written piece...... And just as you suggest toward the end of your write......I too decided to ~

          ~ "To make a change
              No more living in pain"

I was actually bedridden for three years...... then I met Cherie....... and somehow the pain was less challenging (someday I'll explain that whole story to you) ~ smiles..... Loved this my friend!!.... and Blessings to you!!...... your friend and admirer.....T xo ??☀☀♥♥

Reply
author
Wayne Stubbs

Thanks so much Tony, throughout all of your pain I'm glad love and happiness has found you, with Cherie in your heart brother, I will be ready and waiting, willing to listen whenever that moment comes, you're such an instrumental influence in my writing, and don't forget peace to the mothership ??☮? brother poet! 

Reply
author
lodigiana

Hi Wayne, this is such a touching testimony to someone working so hard to get through life but sometimes getting  dragged down by life itself. I sense a gentle soul in there Wayne and maybe not enough voices around to to let you know all the good they see in you...and that's tough my friend...There is sometimes so much pressure on us.. particularly men...to be 'strong'  in the face of life's problems or physical pain,  that  it can make us tougher on ourselves than we need to be.Never forget that no matter what Wayne ..you are NEVER alone..This is an excellent piece about a  truly heartfelt situation that you have been willing to share with us - thank you for that and hugs to you  always xx
Lodigiana 

Reply
author
Wayne Stubbs

Thank you ever so much Lodigiana, yeah I know sometimes I feel that I'm tough on myself and never see the good that I'm doing, I'm sure I'll get back to a healthy mind, body and (gentle) soul soon, thanks again for such a positive comment ??

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