I Made It Through, So Can You

If I could, turn back time
Would I?
My past
Flooded with horrors
Which was such a living nightmare
Made me, the brilliant person
I am today
As I look back
Way back, when
I would swing, throughout the summet the air
At the age of three
Getting stung, by a bumble bee
I ran to my mommy, back then
So it does not sting me again
Then, those were my greatest fear
My life was vibrant with cheer
That happy go lucky, little girl
Shining, like a pearl
Still lives, inside of me
In the visions I see
Me sliding down, a bank of snow
My smile, held a luminous glow
I enjoyed Christmas for the gifts
Not, for the love, or the spiritual lifts
Played around the yard
At Memere's, with my cousins
I had the life, of a shinning star
School started, I got bullied a lot
Pushed around I fought
For them to just stop, making me cry
I wanted them to just go fly 
A kite, as we all say
They eventually did so, one day
I had one friend, which I could rely on
Leave her alone!!
She would shout
I am not quite sure what I would of done without 
Her at my side
With all the heart ache 
The bullies would provide
At home, the family was falling apart
I would hear the cries, of mommy's broken heart
When mom and dad, divorced
Her heart, became full of doubt
Our home, was no longer whole
It was half done, not fully built
The words, of his affair held no guilt
The walls, were left bare
So, were our hearts, though
Mom, slept in the attic  during the cold of the winter
My floor was plywood, and my little feet would splinter
All up, on the walls you could only see foam
Dad left our family and home 
Completely destroyed
My brother became infuriated with rage 
Mom fought, for him to turn the page
The holes in the walls, were caused by his fists
The memory of our father had disappeared in the mists
His sweetness had been broken
Like our home, as I had earlier spoken
Of, my mother though and her beautiful heart
Stopped our future's from falling apart
The house that built me
Also caused me to see
That nothing is meant to be
I may have been, young wild and free
Back then
Way back when
Years,later  along the road of my life
Directions had changed, when mother had held the knife
I was twelve years old
Every day required me to be bold
Dad, never fought to keep
The love of his children in his life
Left us behind, after he divorced his wife
Never had he lost an ounce of sleep
He just let us both go
Never to know
Never to see, never to care
He simply, was just not there
So he would not help me
When mother, had given up on me
I helped myself
Storing upon a dusty old shelf
The memories, of having a family at my side
My mother gave up, because a man had lied
About, what he had done to me
How could she not see, was beyond me
It is okay, though I forgave though I have not forgotten
The lies of a man, so rotten
My dad's side of the family, will never be forgotten
Memere never gave up on me
She helped me see, that there is beauty inside of me
I had simply been abused, then framed
Some looked at me, ashamed
Other's they're eyes would immediately glow
Like diamonds, upon the snow
"She is so beautiful", they would say because they simply knew
They seen in my eyes, what he had put me through
I would cry, during the holidays
They say, being honest pays
How so? 
I truly do not know
When those who put on a show
Are the one's, who bestow
With honor, though they live a lie
Because of him, I had to say good bye
While he basked in glory
What damaged the most, is he lied before me
Right in front of my eyes
He told those pathetic lies
Memere, her eyes would shed a tear
Year, after year
You are always welcomed here, she would say
Making me appreciate love on Christmas day
It was not the gifts, anymore
I appreciated, honest people a whole lot more
Than my mother, that is for sure
I lost that little girl, with the heart so pure
The years passed me by
I spread my own wings, to fly
No support, I mostly felt all alone
No support for my future, to be shown
I started to invest, in my poetry
To let the emotions flow out of my heart
There may, have been my beautiful start
I realized, that I could do it all alone
With out affection being shown, I would create myself on my own
One day, I would find a reason, why the truth was never shown
For my pains, of the past
The desire, for my lost family will always last
Even now that I am all grown up, that is true
I by myself made it through
It was not easy, most of the times
Leading, to my poetic rhymes
Makes thirteen years
I have, not seen my mothers side of the family
But, that is okay
True family, to me
Is not defined by blood
It is, those who simply stood 
By my side
With, love and support to provide
Though, they could not always be there
It always felt good to know they care
After all those losses in my life
I may feel anger, I may feel abandoned by my own mother, she became his wife
I may have lost contact, with my brother
When he went to fight a war
He did not see, the events behind that door
So, he did not believe in me like most of the rest
I keep in mind, that I did my absolute best
Not to hurt, anyone in the path I walked
Though, by the past I will always be stalked 
God, finally gave me a blessing after all the pain
Put an end to the life, full of pouring rain
I became a mother myself, so I must be strong
To give my daughter, a place to forever belong
I  will never  to my daughter, what was done to me
Bumble bee's are no longer my greatest fear, neither will it ever again be
Now, losing my daughter is my only night mare
Today, I write my poetry, as I run my fingers through her hair
I swear, to give her strength inside
To always support her with absolute pride
I also hope, to change the lives
Of the victims, children and even the wives
To all the monsters walking our streets
To help, children that the enemy molests, or even beats
My dream, my ambition is  also to simply, do the best I can
To provide for my daughter, and my man
If you are a victim of life's, bitter lies
Trust me, I hear your cries
Please never quit
You have to admit
The sun light's up the sky, after every storm
Cuddle under blankets, keep warm
Do not allow, them to turn you cold
You are, made of pure gold
When you hurt, think of those like me
That little girl, will always be
In pain, yes that is true
You still, have no clue
Some, is just to painful to put into words
But, we are like a flock of birds
One day, we will fly
Together throughout the bluest sky
Back then, I  swore, I would die
As I would curl up and cry
I still have nightmares, of back then 
I am still afraid of most men
But, today I am not hurt
Not even,am I treated like dirt
By a man,I am only protected
The future, is better than I had expected
Thank God, I did not let them win
Those who sin
Will never know, never feel
Or have the ability to heal
I am here today, so are you 
If I would not have made it through
Never, I would of been able to give birth
To a beautiful angel, who today makes it all worth
The fight
Since I have her, I will be alright
She makes my heart glow
You will never know
The future until, you give it a try
Day, after day loving souls die
Angels, are sent to hell
The priest rings that bell
To another life, that was lost to suicide
If I could only  provide
The love that was needed
Maybe, they would of succeeded 
They might of had a beautiful little baby, who knows
I want to end, suicide, as the number constantly grows
I almost, hung my self one day
I told myself, no I WILL be okay
Eventually, I found someone to love
Now I have a beautiful daughter, sent from the heavens above
As I look into her beautiful sapphire blue eyes
I am no longer ruined by the lies
I think though, of those who are in pain
By giving up, you will never gain
The strength, to save the future generation
Or even, a beautiful creation
You never know, in what direction your future could go
Just remember, inside you will ALWAYS glow
Tomorrow, you could save the lives
That the one's holding the knives
Destroy, every day
Stay, strong you will be okay
I made it through
So, so can you