I Surrender

Bridging the gap between I love you and I hate you is an endless war of time. It’s a terrible thing to know your darkness as once upon a time you were only light. To have been elevated and lost the grip of traction falling was far more painful than imaginable. If only I could swim into the abyss of all that my imagination created you to be. How sorrowful it feels to know that you were unlike any of my dreams. From ashes to ashes your memory burns like embers from a smoldering coal. Your painted picture of the future pierces through that tiny compartment of empathy I saved for you. That box use to contain the world and to think that you valued my gift what a waste of years. I guess the beauty of tragedy is always in her grace. She’ll find you and she will show you your errors. Running from weakness is like trying to outrun a train. They say history repeats itself and it will. Your heart will recognize your loophole. God only knows my own demise was choosing to serve Kings who only value mirrors. All I ever wanted was to be respected but for me it is yet to be found. My greatest life lesson was learning that loosing everything is okay. All that we hold on too truthfully it’s nothing in the end. I guess really what there is to learn from this is that if you let go of everything you will find that the answer to it all was simply surrender. Surrender your heart so that you may feel. All that you are is only protected by the barrier of skin. One day your prison will fail you. Surrender your spirit so that you may fly and join hands with all that is beautiful and true. I forgive you for painting a smaller picture. I forget sometimes that not everyone shares the same talents. To be a dreamer and a healer is really more of a curse. Trying to fix shattered pieces of broken parts seems simple when you see the abstract ness of creation and change. I was so nieve to believe I could fix that part of you. It’s funny how I miss the innocence of blindness it was so warm and safe but that’s not truthful is it? Truth is colder and it hurts a lot more to own. I am so grateful for the journey this world has given to me. I hope one day they will say she tried her best to fly free. I surrender all of you that I ever claimed or erroneously believed was mine to keep. I surrender my love that was rooted and bound to you I hope that in letting the wind take ownership of that force you will be able to move on.