I’ll say, ill say

I’ll say that I love you,
With every breath, beat and blink. If we were In water do you think we would swim or sink. With everything you’ve taught me, you’d think I would be sound. But everytime you pop in my mind and I thump to ground. With the absence of you. I’ll drink an absinthe or two. Because everytime I smile I’m brought back to the bitter thought of you. I couldn’t find a clue. I scoured and I scoured
And after losing you. I soured. Like a lemon without its rind. I’m afraid me you and Jade. Ran out of time

I’ll say that I love you,
With every word that I speak or think 
If we could turn back time would you turn away from the brink. The edge of beginning. It was never about winning. Because now that the threshold is crossed my only thought is bringing. More to the table and more to your smile. If I could reverse the clocks I’d stay. If only for a while. You liquified my centre. The one I took pride. In forming and without warning you sliced into my side. You carved your way into my heart, and now without you I believe in love starved. If only I could send you the words that I write. I’d give up drugs and smoking just for the promise we’d be alright. I’ve never turned away from the thought of us. Even still two years later. Im left mourning your loss and trying to fill the Jade sized crater. You’ve caused quite the fuss. You’ve caused quite the stir by enabling my mind to blurr. And now I am stuck writing poems you’ll never see and I wish you could have heard.
 
I’ll say that I love you with every movement I make,
Because my only quarrel with you is that I knew what was at stake. I know I couldn’t be what you needed. All I wanted to do was stay I begged and pleaded. I won’t waste my time by questioning why I wasn’t good enough. Because you of all people know I wasn’t and still not good at that stuff. Could we start again. Even if we just started as friends? I could make your day, and you sweep my mind away. With your luscious blonde hair and the way it likes to make me stare. No nothing could ever compare to you, my precious Jade blare. 
I’ll say that I love you with everything thought I put out there. Into the universe they go. Onward so.  Into the rocket to Space fair. How have you been doing now, are you swell? The things that I told you, I could never bring myself to tell. Another human being, another kindred soul. Tell you was enough and it has taken to toll. Jade blade where are you now, do you think of where we could be? Do you think of our last row. I know I was crazed but forgive me I was amazed, at how a soul so horrid. Could cause you to fade. It caused you to fall unobtainable how could you let him do that to us Jade? You were my angel. I could never do that to us. I told you it wasn’t just lust. You was my angel and everything I held dear. All wrapped up in one bundle. So please I implore you to forgive my fear. I was scared to lose you and I was afraid to be here. Here where I am now. Broken and alone. It’s left me in pieces and hardly able to pick up the phone. I hear you everytime it rings and every time it hums. I hear that your happy and your glad I’m in the slums. Only the retched and boiled are lying beneath me now. The people so black spotted that they could be a cow. I am surrounded by your echoes. Atleast hear me out, I told you I was crazy but I’m sure I left you with you doubt. Please come and heal my wounds. I would text you first but when it comes to you I will always be a coward.