In Love We Trust

I wanted to fall in love 
To feel high on life, light on the clouds 
The sun is shining and I’m wrapped in Love’s embrace 
Sheltering me from life’s troubles 
Oh, how the butterflies would dance inside my abdomen 
In cheer, in excitement, in pure celebration!
I’d toast to myself because then I was worthy. 
If I fell in love and Love caught me 
I was worthy. 
I could feel and I could be happy and I could live 
If Love chose me then I could also choose me 
I must at least be decent, right? 
So when Love presented herself 
I jumped. 
like a fool so willing and blind, 
I leaped into the clouds and let the wind guide my way.
Yet I fell through, 
Fast. 
Hitting cold pavement, splashing into a pool
of my own tears? 
Or possibly pity from the sky?
Maybe it wishes I’d been chosen too 
It’s pitch black and gloomy down here 
There are only the ghosts of what could’ve been to comfort me
which fills my pool deeper, 
My heart is heavy and I sink, deeper. 
If I’d been chosen I’d have a reason to fight, to go on 
but I am not worthy..,
I surrender.