Inside my head

No one knows what's going on,
But no one cares either
The only friend that I confide in 
is this bottle of tequila.
I ask him what's the answer 
to all I have inside, 
he just pats my shoulder
and hands me a .45 .
The easy way out I think 
of all I've could done.
Why is my only solution this gun?
Why couldn't it been a real friend 
with a heart and a voice.
Instead all I got is this bottle 
and no choice.

People will say how could you, 
you're a mother and a wife!
You could have concurred, 
You could've fight!
To them I say your right. 

But I have fought for so long 
that life seems meaningless.
All I had left is empty words,  
regrets and that is strenuous.
It's easy to judge from the outside
When the problems are on the inside.

You'll never understand what 
I thought about that night. 
Kneeling at my babies crib 
praying to make it all right. 
Begging for God to make it all stop!
Begging God to hold me tight and 
say it'll be alright!
But God wasn't there that night.

So it's just me and this .45 
With tequila on my right
All I have left to pain me 
is the anticipation of peace 
on the other side