Intruder

It is not easy
to prefer an  intruder rather than
a loved one 
at night time.
I am constricted by their pain. 
They voraciously turn against me 
when I thread my needle
to mend my sock 
torn, with a hole, and no memory
(this is ultimately a matter of speech)
since speech is what I have   become
I recount mostly what I doubt most
with most certainty,
like a tint of colour that never fades.
It will always be  a misunderstanding
that your lips are tight, 
your insistence is a weapon,
our non-stop endless  questions are hurried 
and poignant 
because
we are not ready to quit.
I don't lock my house or
the salt water in the pond outside
but, I have forged the station gates. 
My rage is due to your examples of morality,
responsibility and death:
 the baa, the bleat, the blat 
Reaching  the top of the Chanctombury ring
 in Sussex where our walk ended
only
the dogs barking in the distance woke  me up
from the torture of the autumn light wasted 
around the leaves.