It's Just Me Now

People come and go,
People pass by and look away,
But some people never go away,
No matter what you say,
Or what you think,
They love you,
But you never stopped to think,
That maybe it was real,
And maybe you had a chance,
You tried, 
You really did,
They loved you for that,
But you had thought of the things,
The mean things,
That they might say,
You couldn’t stay,
No matter what they did,
No matter how nice they were,
Nothing for you ever lasted forever,
So you moved away,
Far far away,
Like in the books,
With their happy endings,
You had loved those so much,
You then found me,
You had told me all about them,
You told me that is what you wanted your future to be,
Not this desk job at which I sit,
Writing this and awaiting,
Awaiting the day you come back,
I know that day is far to come,
I have many years to go,
And I know you want the best for me,
But why,
Why did you do it,
I knew it was wrong,
How I blamed you for what you did,
It wasn’t your fault, 
I just thought I meant something to you, 
I spent days thinking about it,
Thinking of what I did wrong,
You didn’t leave anything for me,
Just as well,
I might have hurt you,
Maybe I was drunk,
Maybe I said something,
Maybe my actions were gross,
I know you weren’t like me,
I knew I wasn’t the right girl for you,
But please,
It was only highschool,
We were kids,
I got drunk and maybe it was weird,
For a girl to love another girl,
I get it,
I was an idiot to think it was normal,
Now it’s different,
Now I waste away,
In a closet I now call home,
It’s humorous how the closet seemed to cave around me,
It’s been 4 years,
I don’t forgive you,
And now I waste away on the pills,
But still,
I lie and await,
I await the day we that see each other again,
My love.