It's not OK

Its a savage life ..not the world ..but Humans...The world in which we live is Beautiful..but people in the world can be so cruel..the girl that stays silent thru the years of abuse..she shed tears on her own thru growing stronger thru out it all on her own...the guy who beat her down made her feel worthless n wud never be loved because she was broken, not broken but depressed n needed someone to notice that she was not OK for all she tried to speak up she got trod down n until she cudnt take it nomore she turned to the bottle ..was never a drinker ..but needed something to help her stop thinking ..went to the doctors so many times she felt like she was a bother begged cried pleaded but cud never open up on the the things that was going on made her feel inadequate less of a mother knew she wasn't right it wasn't right but she tried her best thru out it all thru the beat down she took it all ..Still begging crying she begged to be seen by the Dr's kept filling her on anti depression pills, made her more depressed thru out the yrs but she cud never open up made to feel inadequate until chardanet made her feel like she was something just a glass n she was back to the norm no miss inadequate after a week she was her n things was good or so she thought ..the worst was yet to cum she got winded so bad wen she was pregnant being 6months pregnant her daughter ran down the stairs upset n got head butted ...was 1 of the worst pains she felt thru out the nrly 12 years ...not a violent person. ..but she went psycho that day ..smashed him in the mouth, chased him Out the house..but somehow 4 weeks later she's the bad person..social services took her kids away ..an adult n 4 kids n 1 maisonette..trying to look after her mum n nephew ..but no-one thru her nervous breakdown to look after her ...just a shit breakdown n no,-one there for her...used everything they cud from her ..now a Yr later she knows what was took from her she fought in court n got back all was took from her ..Still a drinker ..Still a compulsive thinker, nervous breakdown but she did what she needed to it broke her heart to have to let go of them ..never been the same..since then. Sobriety n feeling the shame hitting rock bottom again there's a set back but pick up ur feet n get right back can't hit rock bottom again! Been a battle of pain literally dying of shame ....wish I cud turn back the hands of time