It's Time

The grief is deep and profound

From the inner circle of our family unit, a child has perished.

Our kin, a member of our family tree, a branch of our legacy has snapped; and

at the end of the broken branch,

the portrait of a 16 year old

resides forever.

It’s Time

Every fiber in my body trembled with fear

I could hear my heart beating through my chest

I am frozen from panic

Sound seems magnified

The clock is ticking too loud

I Run…in my mind

Dismay is clouding my thinking

I need water

In slow motion I move to the door

To be by her side

It’s Time

She told me to “talk to her, tell her what you want her to hear

It is your “chance to say goodbye”

I stare

I can’t deny the obvious

her once dazzling human spirit had risen from her lifeless body days before.

She was still in the room.

I feel her

Say something

Look into her beautiful face and find words worthy for her to hear.

Did she know I was there?

I am distressed that she feels pain

I am tormented that she doesn’t know I am with her

And…

It’s Time.

I will see you in Heaven?

I love you?

Please don’t go!?

I stare

The most beautiful girl I think I have ever met;

16 years old, weeks from turning 17, teddy bears under each arm and

Around her feet

Tubes down her throat and needles piercing her arms

And some minister says.

“Say goodbye”

It’s Time

The only words I could think to say

that had meaning

were echoing in my head now

and they were directed toward the minister,

they were

LEAVE. ME. ALONE!

Because, I KNOW!

It’s Time

I have moments when I descend into despair, unimaginable to most.

Suddenly I am in an isolated, forbidding place,

Clouds are gray like a deadly storm is approaching

The winds are moving the tree branches, which are reaching down

and threatening my very existence.

Or those that I love

Then someone or something kicks me hard in my lungs;

and I struggle to breath

My heart physically hurts and tears burn my eyes.

I fear…

It’s Time

Then as suddenly, the storm passes and I hear birds chirping

The sun warms my face

I breathe deep

I reconnect

I feel alive

and I am at peace.

It IS time

But I don’t say goodbye

I say…

“I will love you forever Emily”