Just a wrong wrong song

I search for them...my people
See the faces I would
recognise
In the times before
When I walked and laughed
immune, to all disguise

I see image but no
essence...still life but no
movement and I'm panicked
by the nothingness
When I had truly thought it
gold...
In the times before when I'd
thought it more
So much more than what it
Ever was

Yet I'm old and there is
something wrong
I'm just a mirror's lie in a
wrong wrong song
And I'm cold, so cold and far
away
And I cannot play, I can never
play, again

For I can't find real and I can't
find me, can't believe in the lie
Of what appears to be

So I sit in the empty of the
loneliest place, a moon out of
orbit in the vastness of space
Appalled at all truths and
rejected by grace
Searching in moonshine for
my used up face, or any face
I might recognise

M P 21/5/21