Just smile and pretend

Legs are shaking,
Hands are quaking,
The things my mind is anticipating,
How can things unravel so fast,
Try to put it behind me the past is the past,
But it's still so fresh it's still so sore,
All of these emotions are so bloody raw,
When I try to do right I seem to do wrong,
Everyone thinks I'm just going along,
But I'm not happy I'm dying inside,
But just put on a smile and the truth you can hide,
These feelings so dark they take over my mind,
I'm snappy and angry when I just want to be kind,
Am I really that bad that i deserve all of this,
Want to lean in give her a kiss,
But instead just try not to cry,
As the hardest part of my day is saying goodbye